We are heading towards the end of the year 2009. I am getting older and older. The forties seem to fly away quicker than the thirties. It took me about ten years to pass from 29 to 39, but it took no time from 40 to 44. Amazing isn't it? am I dying somehow? Or is life getting meaningless to me... I must find out before it is too late.

What I can remember of my last four years is nothing really important. I have been doing the same job 15 years now. I have a wonderful wife and two fantastic kids . I have a decent job but what else, I still don't know why I am living. I understand that Allah created us for a purpose, but still I am not able to get that purpose at 44 years of age.

We should not expect much from our lives, otherwise, we will face a fatal shock. So I've decided not to think of the purpose of my life. I will continue working until someone or something stops me. I have the feeling that I am here only to raise my children in the same manner my parents have raised me in the 1960's and 1970's.

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Today I shaved my beard for the first time in two years. I had a crazy day. I argued with my enemy and went home, I felt the need to change something and it turned to be my poor beardling (saksoukeh).

If you feel that the whole world is against you, just go out and smoke a breathe of m3assal apple with a dash of cherry for half an hour, then send a bluetooth picture of yourself to anyone standing in a car next to yours on the traffic light. you will feel that half of the world is no more against you. Then repeat the process again and again at every traffic light until you reach home. There you will discover that only your wife and kids are against you and that you have reconciliated the remaining 5,999,999,999 people on earth.